So today was the (not so) big day for Patrick Visser, Maurice Sjerps and Keren Visser-Katz in the 14th criminal court in Panama, where your editor was being tried for evil crimes against the honor of those poor tree hustlers. Quick refresher on Silva Tree, now called "Sustainable Capital Group", here. Patrick Visser's character is best explained by a former employee, here.
But! First things first: Who the hell chooses Monte Friesner's outfits?
Huh? Friesner? Yes, the man himself. He entered the courtroom together with his new best friends, Patrick Visser and Maurice Sjerps, chatting and whatnot, dressed in a brownish suit - the kind on which you don't notice bird poop - with a pale orange shirt and a Soviet style commie designer tie, making him look like a Brezhnev era apparatchik. Next to him sat his loyal-as-a-dog assistant Edelweiss Serrano, with that look of a cow gazing across the ditch, just before it says, "Mooooooo". It's nice to see that Visser and Sjerps have made such upstanding friends in Panama, which can be a cold and lonely place otherwise for tree hustlers.
Patrick Visser, in turn, took out a camera. Then he put it back in his bag. Sjerps just sat there and frankly looked like a sack of potatoes past the expiry date.
Anyway, the trial began, and boy oh boy, we should all feel so sorry for Patrick and Maurice and Keren! They can't sleep, their company lost money, investors were running away, family is calling them - even the trees were stressed out because of your evil Bananama Republic having the audacity to write true stories about them! The horror! Everybody was moved to tears in the courtroom because of so much suffering and distress and trauma.
Little problem is of course that they a sort of failed to submit one single shred of evidence for all these allegations and imaginations. But hey, who cares about evidence if you're a tree hustler falsely claiming that your scheme is carbon certified and offers guaranteed returns, right?
So, what else did we learn today? One memorable moment was when their lawyer asked the judge to sequester this website. Now that would be an interesting affair to say the least, a Panamanian court trying to physically seize a website registered and hosted abroad. Good luck with that, I'd say.
Similarly, they tried to squeeze in a civil law request and have the judge order me to pay them 5 million dollars. Ain't gonna happen. An earlier request to sequester my assets was denied, and the judge made it clear he wasn't gonna honor any new ones, so exit that idea.
Noteworthy also was that the case against colleague Mrs. Miller of the Christian Science Monitor, who first published about Silva Tree and their carbon credit sham, has been dismissed. Why? Well, the Panamanian Public Ministry hadn't really gotten the message on US policy of not cooperating with criminal libel cases, and US State Dept. thus refused to do anything to have Mrs. Miller served with citations to appear in the Panamanian courtroom. 'Go home, you libel tourists', said the Americans to the Panamanians. So there!
From what we heard (and it was not easy to keep track of their lawyer who just rambled on and on about his poor clients and their bizznizz traumas), the most urgent desire of Patrick Visser, Maurice Sjerps and Keren Visser-Katz is that the bad publicity about them will simply disappear from the web and that "all this comes to an end". The judge hasn't ruled yet - that'll take about 30 days - but regardless of what he rules and/or what appeals are being filed after that, stories disappearing is something that simply is not going to happen, and no good reasons were given by these shysters why anything should come to an end either. These clowns have been their own generators of bad news with their wacky behavior, which means there will most likely be more, not less, publicity - no matter what the verdict is.
Bert and Ernie Patrick and Maurice left a sort of empty handed and outside the court, out of frustration, Visser yelled something in Dutch which I couldn't really understand but surely it was just more drivel and bullshit. So that was that! The great day in court! No arrests of your editor, no jail terms, no hauling away nor any of the other fantasies these punks like to write about.
Next? Next is Monte Friesner, on October 3rd, same court, at 14:00. Will Visser and Sjerps be there for moral support? He'll probably need it!
UPDATE: And there is Patrick Visser with his version! The gift that keeps on giving: Admits that personal damage and suffering isn't really proven, and his shout in Dutch was, apparently, "Why, oh why?". Or something to that effect. Stupid question, of course, for anyone who has followed this saga here on Bananama Republic. Just to show how crazy and delusional this guy really is: He alleges somewhere else on his website that your editor sent emails to his mother in law. Truth is that I have no bloody idea who his mother in law is, and even less what her email address is, and if she received something it's probably because she was among the recipients of something Visser himself sent out or whatever. We don't use the email address email@example.com either, didn't even know it existed, but you might wanna ask your buddy Friesner about it as it sounds like his kind of thing. This piece of work just is incapable of saying anything that is true. Which reminds me: Not a word about this exciting day on Monte Friesner's "WantedSA" website-with-sheriff-badge, nor on the scam pimp's Panama Guide rag! Come on, guys, what's happening? We're counting on you to make wacky and perverted shit up!