Great news, for a change! In an unprecedented act of self-reflection, a majority of the honorable legislators in the s̶e̶c̶o̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶l̶e̶r̶s̶h̶i̶p̶ National Assembly now supports Sergio "Chello" Galvez as the new president of the Parliament!
There are of course MANY good reasons for the decision to favor this hippo shaped buffoon over taxi mobster Marcos Gonzalez. First of all, Chello is never there. He hardly ever shows up for debates or meetings at the Assembly, because he doesn't understand what they are about. This proves how honest he is.
Furthermore, while he is close to Martinelli himself, Chello's intellectual spirit is a guiding light for us all. Regular readers will remember how he once started to use Twitter, and described himself as someone who "loves good music, drinking beer in El Chorillo, and to eat seafood because they say it's an aphrodisiac".
Before he closed down his Twitter account - after just a day - he offered such gems as, "Miren a estos políticos que hacen conferencias para hablar supuestamente sobre “Hacia donde va la democracia panameña."
What's more, the current president of the Assembly, Hector Aparicio, said today that Chello has demonstrated his grand abilities and is the perfect candidate - what could possibly go wrong?
The vice-presidency of the Assembly reportedly goes to Abraham Martinez, who is appropriately one of those PRD legislators who sold himself to Cambio Democratico. This obviously makes him the perfect candidate to direct the day-to-day business of who gets bribed how much in our distinguished Parliament.
So all in all this is really positive news that will no doubt consolidate Panama's solid reputation as a serious country abroad. We are so looking forward to see Chello interviewed on a regular basis about law making and other such proceedings!