Volcán air gets cleaner

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What happens when a gringo gun fetishist and arms trafficker who can't drive a car gets into the ocean for a swim? Yep, he drowns. Such has been the sad faith of William Lipton, a racist who got famous in Panama for his Volcán community meetings and for teaching expats how to shoot people.

Panama's newspaper of record - cough - La Critica has all the gory details. According to the paper, Lipton went for a swim at the notoriously dangerous La Barqueta beach in Chiriqui. Surfers then found his body. SINAPROC arrived at the scene, tried CPR, but it was too late and Lipton had died.

On the Boquete Ning board, this tragic event was quickly seized upon to promote the agenda of one or the other lifesaver association in Panama to have supervised swimming everywhere, which gave the crowd - expats will be expats, after all - something familiar to bicker about because nobody gave a shit about Lipton anyway and thus work through the stages of grief together in unity.

Moral of story? Forget learning how to shoot a gun when you move to Panama. Ignore the gun nuts. Take swimming classes instead.

2 thoughts on “Volcán air gets cleaner

  1. I don’t know Okke. Mr. Lipton and company are pretty sure of crises actors, fake deaths and government conspiracies. Could it be? I mean, if the US government can organize crises actors for 9-11, Sandyhook Elementary School. and the Aurora Movie Theater fake dramas, why not a fake gringo drowning to scare the beejesus out of gringos and cause them to leave? Gun up, hide your gold! They may be coming for all of us!

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