Bananama Republic

Cultural Tourism: Visit the Panama Wall!

In Panama, everything happens at least fifty years later

Minister of Security Raul Mulino, also known as the “Butcher of Bocas”, gifted with a bottomless imagination where it comes to promoting our glorious nation, has announced plans to hermetically seal the border with Costa Rica, apparently by building a wall.

In an article in Mexican publication Excélsior, Mulino is quoted:

“Una frontera que yo le he llamado nuestra ‘pequeña Tijuana”’, en alusión a la ciudad del estado mexicano de Baja California, fronteriza con Estados Unidos y afectada tanto por las actividades de los carteles de la droga como por un intenso flujo de migrantes que solo pudo ser detenido erigiendo un muro en la frontera.

Mulino worries that the Costa Rican border is uncontrolled and easy to cross, which offers lots of opportunities for undocumented people, drug trafficking, contraband and other such pillars of the Panamanian economy.

That is of course consistent with our government’s policy of making a big show of cracking down on drug trafficking while doing nothing against money laundering – which is where the real money is.

But hey! Panama will have a new tourist attraction! Stay in Boquete and make a day trip to see the Panama Wall; watch undocumented fortune seekers being shot in the face by our fearless fronterizas!

Maybe you’ll even be able to witness a spy exchange at Checkpoint Charlie Paso Canoa!

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Okke Ornstein

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Comments

4 responses to “Cultural Tourism: Visit the Panama Wall!”

  1. Santiago Avatar
    Santiago

    Mulino is smoking cheap dope…

    Reply
  2. JanB Avatar
    JanB

    The question that immediately begs an answer is “qui bono?” Like in the State of Corporate American Moguls (SCAM), that could be the construction companies, filling the pockets of politicians under the banner of “preemptive campaign contributions”.

    A wall is only to drive up the price of drugs either because the cost of “bribing at the gate” goes up or alternative routes have to be developed. Care to give a prediction on the trade in reusable, GPS-assisted, motorized weather balloons?

    The only way to end the violence related to the trade is to legalize drugs but to punish bad behavior caused by their use, just like already happens with alcohol and medicines.

    But Washington, having set up the world’s largest heroin production in Afghanistan since occupying that country, couldn’t continue its illegal operations without the immense profits from the globalized drugs trade.

    Reply
  3. Jim in the US Avatar
    Jim in the US

    My money says that they wall will never be built. It will be talked about, roads built into the pristine national preserve that all those Corporate thugs have been wanting to steal and develop, then Il Duce will decide (Unilaterally, of course. We don’t need no steenkng Asamblea or Laws. They only make fun of my hard earned scams…er…legislation.) that it is no longer subject to ANAM development rules and turn it over to the environmental rapists who will, as expected, rape it. The stupid US Border Patrol/John McCain/Jan Brewer Wall of Death will be forgotten and one more breathtaking natural wonder of the world will have bitten the corporate dust.

    Reply
  4. HA HA HA Avatar
    HA HA HA

    That’s right, we have to keep Genghis Khan and his Costa Rican cohorts out.

    Reply

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