Remember how the interwebs were buzzing about how a bunch of crazy gringos would form a white men’s militia to protect their homes against Panamanian burglars? We can inform you now, dear readers, that these wackos are not wasting any time.
Last Wednesday, there was this “mixer” meeting, as announced on the Playa Community website with special guest star Don Winner. Think “Muppet Show”.
It was a big success, or so we hear, not in the least because the new Wanker family business seems to be selling supplies to scared retirees. One member of the Weiner clan was making a sales pitch for stun guns, or tasers – the kind of tool the great Nazi Don Winner himself uses to scare and harass women and children when he’s not busy promoting scams and arms traffickers (does Marco Shrem supply Wanker Inc. with wholesale Nicaraguan army surplus stun guns, we wonder?).
To be fair, we also understood that some people protested, although a tiny minority.
Others launched questions like, how to make a citizen’s arrest in Panama? Of course the walking crime wave had an answer to that too, which he has now published on his website, here, where he makes you pay for his amateur legal advice.
Not that it really matters: Most of these gringos wouldn’t even be able to announce a citizen’s arrest in Spanish anyway. “Mahnose awreebah! Yo noh speeky Espanyole!”
Of course all this nonsense is going to backfire majestically. Gringos may be chronically scared of everything non-gringo even when they choose to live outside gringoland, but the type of nazi-colonial behavior scam pimp Don Winner et al are promoting will most certainly not go over well with Panamanians who are not at all inclined to be patrolled by the pot-bellied Hawaiian shirt brigade carrying tasers and guns to protect their Megadepot garden furniture against the cholos.
One question though: Will they also wear strange white pointy hats when doing the rounds in Gorgona?