Decameron offers gunfight package

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The development of a mature tourism industry in Panama is still in its infancy, but the Colombian owned Decameron resort has taken the lead by offering a new spectacular action-packed gangland shoot'em up style weekend package for those who expect just a little bit more than simply sitting on the beach drinking piña coladas. One might speculate that the arms trafficking of our Colombian-born tourism minister has something to do with it, but fact is that the first trial run of the new third world program this weekend has been a success beyond anyone's expectations.

One eyewitness recounted how late Friday night a fight ensued in and around the room next to where she and her family were staying. A woman was banging the door, screaming, "HABRANME LA PUERTA HIHIEPUTAS", and so on, and this spectacle, with many others running around in some kind of frenzy, lasted until 3 in the morning. Suspense!

Meanwhile, in one of the hotel's discotheques, two families from Colón organized a gunfight, leaving one dead and two wounded. Of course, shooting guns in a dancing might easily make many more victims, so this obviously shows how professional and experienced the staff of the Decameron resort really is.

After some well deserved rest, at dawn the guests were treated with the second stage of the gunfight package: Police was running around everywhere, had sealed of the passage to the room of our source because the room next door indeed belonged to one of the gun freaks, blocked the stairways and so on. Great fun was had by all.

Our source told us she was greatly impressed with the attention to detail the staff had payed to the execution of the shoot-out scheme in this lush tropical beach setting. For example, nobody would expect a clean swimming pool in a street gang type environment, and indeed the pool was dirty, so that the kids who had missed out on the shooting in the discotheque had at least a chance of contracting an exotic tropical disease. Later some fish was found swimming in the pool. The staff itself was, with the regrettable exception of one or two individuals who just didn't get it, rude and stupid and never apologized for any of the "discomfort" - adding just that little extra touch you'd expect from a package like this.

So, we can not but highly recommend this new pearl of Panamanian tourism innovation, "Fear and Loathing at the Decameron". Why Dia a Dia didn't mention the name of the hotel in its coverage of events is just totally beyond us.

5 thoughts on “Decameron offers gunfight package

  1. All my family was there. We have a bad experience. We not going back to this hotel. Toda mi familia estuvo allí, mi marido, mi bebe de 2 años y 9 meses y yo. Tuvimos una pésima mala experiencia en todos los sentidos. Nosotros no volveremos mas nunca a ese hotel, ni aunque nos regalen un fin de semana de cortesia.

  2. A quién se le ocurre ir a este nido de ratas en donde no se puede contacta a la recepción desde las habitaciones pues no hay un número de teléfono ? Esta fué nuestra experiencia hace algunos años y ahora se revelan como lo que son :GÁNGSTERES !
    Este lugar es una vergüenza para el país y deberán cerrarlo !

  3. No se puede ser tan irresponsable de hacer calificativos de una naturaleza tan grave, como ratas o gangsters a una gente que ha sido desarrolladora del producto turistico de Panama. y en donde se genera Empleo y Bienestar para muchas familias de la zona. No estoy de acuerdo en que lo cierren!! Al contrario debemos apoyarlos y seguir visitando sus lindas instalaciones!!
    Si creo que la gente debe controlarse y escribir con la mesura y respeto que todos merecen.
    Frases como la usada son las que invitan a la violencia y no es eso lo que se esta criticando?
    Yo si regresare y disfrutare pues cada vez que hemos ido con mi familia y hemos pasado muy bien!!

    • @LALO: “Frases como la usada son las que invitan a la violencia”.

      Me parece que la violencia ya llego mucho antes de esta frase. Como dejen entrar a gente con armas de fuego en una discoteca?

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