US ambassador apologizes for continued high demand for drugs

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The US ambassador in Panama, Barbara Stephenson, apologized yesterday for the burden the continued high demand in her country for illicit drugs places on Panamanian society.

Noting that drug trafficking through Panama increased, Stephenson said that she feels sorry that drug cartels' turf wars leave Panama with the deadly consequences of North Americans' desire to stuff their noses and lungs.

"The situation is further aggravated by the fact that it's mostly US banks that profit from the laundering of the proceeds, and that eventually the profits of the drug trade represent an economic stimulus for Latin America that the US would be unable to match should the drug trade be halted", Stephenson added. "So we have no choice but to keep prices artificially high through the so-called "war on drugs", she said.

(This article is a spoof. We wish it were true.)

One thought on “US ambassador apologizes for continued high demand for drugs

  1. This is really good humor! You’re right, though. Wouldn’t be nice if the US State Department and the US Treasury Department would come clean (no pun intended) and admit that most of the Western Hemisphere’s economies would collapse without the drug trade.

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