Panama’s national security in the hands of the two dunderheads

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These two muppets are now responsible for Panama's security!

Thank God! We were getting worried here in the Bananama Republic newsroom about all these changes. A new secret service, a sort of a homeland security ministry, a cabinet council on defense, a national crisis center with cameras everywhere - we feared the rise of a totalitarian surveillance state, goons and snitches in every corner, people disappearing.

Turns out we were exaggerating. To our enormous relief, El Panama America reports that the country's two principal plonkers, Martinelli and Papadimitriu, are the only ones to decide about our security and defense strategies. And as you should know by now, with these two dimwits at the helm things will quickly deteriorate to the level of vulgar twaddle, uselessness, and below. What did Mentirelli ever do to be knowledgeable about intelligence affairs and security; spy on the yogurt and the vegetables? And Papadimitriu, the new Tailor of Panama? With that pathetic shirt?

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