Beat up nature-lovers in Boquete!

Since our visionary Martinelli rammed this "sausage law" through the assembly, our heroic national police has become increasingly creative cooking up new schemes for fun and profit. They've now introduced a new attraction to Boquete: Beat up environmentalists!

Take the bus to Boquete, get shot at.

This is why we have all these police roadblocks and checkpoints everywhere, dear reader. Our golden duo, minister Mulino of State Repression and Insecurity and police chief and war criminal Gustavo Perez, are so busy shooting protesters in the face, killing others and shaking down drivers for bribes at these checkpoints that the criminals can do what they want!