Tomorrow, Monday May 7th, is a national day of deep mourning in Panama because some former dictatorship puppet president finally stopped breathing. Jorge Illueca died, and now we have to be obligatory sad about it and we can't drink all day or be arrested and tortured, Noriega style.
We skipped most of the obituaries - the Bananama Republic Newsroom will be serving champagne all day to show how much we care about dead dictatorship dinosaurs - but were fascinated to see the notorious scam pimp and arms dealer PR flack Don Winner offer his own history lesson:
Illueca briefly served as the president of Panama for a few months, from 13 February until 11 October 1984, after Ricardo de la Espriella resigned under pressure from the military goons, due to threats made against his family because he wasn't playing the role of the perfect puppet. Illueca stepped up to replace him from his Vice President's position. To his credit, he pretty much got out of politics shortly after Omar Torrijos died and Manuel Noriega took over.
Huh, what, say that again? Got the medication mixed up a bit there, Winner?
In 1984, when Ricardo de la Espriella (a corrupt asshole who stole tons of money from Panama's social security) was forced to resign, Noriega was already firmly in power. Torrijos had died three years earlier, in 1981. Illueca was already vice-president and succeeded de la Espriella, and stayed on throughout the blatantly fraudulent elections staged by Noriega which saw one "Fraudito" Barletta coming out as Panama's next president.
In other words: The highest position he ever held in politics was during the Noriega era. After Torrijos's death, he climbed the political ladder instead of "getting pretty much out of politics".
So why is Don Winner making shit up then? Because, as regular readers here know, he always does that. As soon as he writes something himself instead of translating other people's articles he gets it all wrong. Always. This actually works to his advantage, because his audience likes it that way. These are mostly extremely stupid people who came to Panama because they think it's easier here to live in some parallel batshit crazy racist universe where scamming and murdering are respected as birthrights, and for them Don Winner is their fearless leader, the village guru. That's how they roll.