• Bananama Republic - Panama Spoof Satire Parody

• Spoof, Satire, Parody, Gossip

• Copyright © 2008 All items in this section are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. And if it's not it's just gossip. Bottom line: Don't sue us, okay?

• More Articles

  • Panama Demands Eiffel Tower from France
  • University Rector Cautions Drunk Tourists
  • Panama launches "eCorruption"
  • Torrijos desperate to endorse someone. Anyone.
  • Panama Canal Zonians Start pro-McCain 527
  • Chavez complains about Panama donations
  • JAMES BOND FILMING GETS OUT OF HAND
  • Panama Canal Hires Harrison Ford to Fight Northern Passage
  • Noriega Demands Saddam-style Execution
  • EPASA Slams Government for Stopping Crime

• Search

  
  All Words
  Some Word
  Entire phrase

• Blogroll

  • Spoof & Satire
    • SatireWire
    • Spoof Ads
    • The Onion
    • The Spoof (UK)
  • Great Panama Sites
    • Almanaque Azul
    • Bolivarian Revolution
    • Isthmian
    • Panama After Hours
    • Panama City Guide
    • Panama Mio
    • Panama networking & communities
    • Real news

• We know how you feel

• XML Feeds

  • RSS 2.0: Posts, Comments
  • Atom: Posts, Comments
  What is RSS?

• Meet a Panamanian lobbyist whore!

Tags: whores

University Rector Cautions Drunk Tourists

By Cojito on Mar 5, 2008 | In Important Global Newsbreak | 3 feedbacks »

This week tourism minister Ruben Blades proudly announced that area prostitutes had beaten out the Panama Canal, Casco Viejo, Bocas del Toro, and cheap cocaine as the nation’s top tourist attractions. But Gustavo Garcia Paredes, Rector of the University of Panama, had a word of warning for vacationing gringos.

Citing a surprising University study, Paredes claimed that drinking large amounts of Abuelo, Seco, or any of Panama's tasty lagers, will not stop a Colombian hooker from stabbing you to death in a pushbutton.

The study, examined 100 Colombian sex workers registered at, but not actually attending, the university of Panama.

Read more

Tags: colombia, dangerous, garcia paredes, hookers, rector, tourists, university, whores

• • PRD Fistdeep in Visual Terrorism

    If you are one of those many who enjoy a strong migraine that will last for days, head over to the website of the biggest political party of our glorious nation, the PRD

  • Don Winner Now Posing as Investment Guru

    Don Winner, the publicist of convicted fraud artist and offshore ponzi hustler Mark Boswell a/k/a "Rex Freeman", is trying to make a buck off the credit crisis by hanging himself out as some sort of investment guru on his online crime scene:

  • Fraudito Barletta Says Not To Worry

    If you were already worried about the consequences for Panama of the financial meltdown up North, now is the time to really get scared. Why? Because Nicolas "Fraudito" Barletta says everything is okay, that's why.

  • Banana Bender Virgilio Crespo Kills Film Festival

    One Virgilio Crespo, chief banana bender of the communal council of Bella Vista, informed the organizers of the film screening that they'd have to go somewhere else with their "bacchanal". Yes, that's right. Crespo, the same third world political bullshitter who did nothing against irresponsible development that has destroyed historic buildings, threatened parks, caused even worse traffic jams and spewed raw sewage onto the streets, feels himself man enough to cancel a cultural event

  • More Drug Allegations in Don Winner Case

    Don Winner recounts his own involvement with drug problems.

  • Bizarre Miami Election Fraud and Bribery Trial To Nowhere

    Suitcase trial: Antonini is close friends with Carlos Andres Perez (aka CAP) the ex-Venezuelan president who hates Chávez and famously said he wants him to 'die like a dog'.

  • Don Winner Goes Off the Deep End, Drug Use Alleged

    Don Winner of the criminal "Panama Guide" enterprise has reached new levels of subconscious self-mutilation involving alleged robbery and use of drugs: Somewhere in the time/space vacuum where he operates he has now managed to smear a murder victim.

  • Noriega Not Dead Yet

    Never mind that he will sit in a stinking prison cell for the rest of his life: Don't sell his mansion!

  • Anti-Balbina Sentiments Heat Up

    Since Balbina, the screaming Noriega goon, won the nomination as presidential candidate AND is ahead in a totally meaningless Dichter & Neira poll, Panamanians are starting to organize resistance.

  • National Assembly to Regulate Sex

    The National Assembly of our great nation has responded swiftly to the international financial crisis and is now convening in an emergency session about sexual health and reproduction.

• Please visit our sponsors

• Poll

  SUNTRACS killings: Who do YOU think the Government will gun down next?

  • Genaro López
  • Saúl Méndez
  • Santiago Ramos
  • Carlos Obaldía
  • Innocent bystander
  • Govt will shoot own foot
  • SUNTRACS will shoot Mirones
  • Don Winner, with a stun gun¹

  View Results
  ¹ = Added by a guest