Panama Canal Zonians Start pro-McCain 527

By The Boss on Feb 21, 2008 | In McCain Panama | 1 feedback »

A group of former military, Canal Zonians and fugitives from justice has started a so-called "527" in support of presidential hopeful John McCain, called "Wankers for the Truth."

"It's all just people like me," explained Don Wanker, a retired toilet cleaner with the US Air Force and chairman of the new group. "You know, we all lived in this great piece of occupied territory that Carter just gave away to these banana benders. And you know that John McCain, our hero, was born here. So that's why."

"The idea was born in a bar, just like all good ideas," treasury secretary Whatta Guy, who works for HSBC's possession department, told Bananama Republic just before he fell off his barstool. His assistant, one Tomas Rowley, said that "donations will be managed as if they were our own, so contributors don't need to worry about a thing."

The group is working on a website and prepares a high profile media campaign. "We are happy that we can count on former wacko right-wing radio talkshow wombat Marc Boswell to produce radio spots that will air all over the country," said Wanker. "Boswell is a big fan of McCain. He admires the way our candidate got away with all these financial scandals, you know, he himself being on the run and all that."

"Wankers for the Truth" further plans to turn McCain's former residence in the Canal Zone into a museum. "Dress it up with some old shit and get people to visit, nominal entrance fee, you get the idea," explained Wanker who pointed out he had experience in running a highly successful "expat center" in Panama City which was however closed recently, due to "cash flow problems", Wanker said.

"Why we do this? We are just proud Panagringos, and McCain has kept the tradition of Panamanian riffraff and sleaze alive even after he moved to the US. He has built a whole career on it, actually, and we are glad we can now be part of that."


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
Tags: 527, canal, mccain, panama, truth, wankers, zone
Comment from: mc puto [Visitor]
*****
the museum would be interesting, being that he lived in coco solo...
"his bedroom would have been around right here, between this here rusted shipping container and that squatter tenement over there"
03/06/08 @ 21:00

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