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JAMES BOND FILMING GETS OUT OF HAND
By The Boss on Feb 15, 2008 | In Important Global Newsbreak | 1 feedback »
PANAMA CITY AND COLON COME TO A HALT AS VIOLENT MASS SCENES CONTINUE
Filming causes streets to be
closed everywhere
President Martin Torrijos is under increasing pressure to just forget about this whole idea of movies being shot in Panama as for the third day on a row public life came to a screeching halt in both Panama City and Colon.
"We've lost control," a nervous Torrijos admitted after a third day of smoke machines, fake blood, and police cars driving up and down the streets at high speeds. Filming of the Bond movie was to be limited to the surroundings of the presidential palace, but the movie crew has taken control of the city as a whole.
On top of that, one extra died and several were wounded during the shooting of various action scenes. A scene in which terrorist fighters would jump from a half-finished building in Paitilla and confront Bond driving his gadgetry laden souped up supercar ended in confusion as stunt men started throwing debris from the building - which was not in the script - damaging nearby residences and cars.
"Let's face it, we don't have the facilities nor the knowledge to handle these kind of projects adequately," said opposition leader José Blandon. "We should just forget about this whole film commission idea for Panama. The last time we had James Bond here he said he was going to lead an operation against the Scottish settlement in Kuna Yala, but instead escaped from the country using a fake diplomatic passport. It's always something."
Supermarket king and presidential hopeful Ricardo Martinelli - who is catering the film production - agreed. "They're not paying me enough. It's unethical and bad for our country."
Insiders claim that Ruben Blades is behind the chaos. A high ranking IPAT officer with a strange sounding last name who spoke to Bananama Republic on the condition of anonymity said that Blades, himself an actor, had counted on landing the role of Bond for himself, and as that didn't happen he's mixing government goons among the extras - a tried and tested Noriegista tactic. The IPAT official said that Blades has installed himself in a big room with a giant screen showing a map of the world and all kinds of arrows and lines drawn on it, from where he is directing the mayhem.
Blades is reportedly being aided by Balabina Herrera who shares his frustration after her failed bid to become the next Bond girl.
A spokesman of the movie production company meanwhile denied that his crew could be blamed for out-of-control mass scenes. The producers suspect one Mr. Blofeld of meddling in the filming, a shadowy character whose motives are unknown but certainly sinister.
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