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• Copyright © 2008 All items in this section are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. And if it's not it's just gossip. Bottom line: Don't sue us, okay?

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  • Panama Demands Eiffel Tower from France
  • University Rector Cautions Drunk Tourists
  • Panama launches "eCorruption"
  • Torrijos desperate to endorse someone. Anyone.
  • Panama Canal Zonians Start pro-McCain 527
  • Chavez complains about Panama donations
  • JAMES BOND FILMING GETS OUT OF HAND
  • Panama Canal Hires Harrison Ford to Fight Northern Passage
  • Noriega Demands Saddam-style Execution
  • EPASA Slams Government for Stopping Crime

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Tags: canal

Panama Canal Zonians Start pro-McCain 527

By The Boss on Feb 21, 2008 | In McCain Panama | 1 feedback »

A group of former military, Canal Zonians and fugitives from justice has started a so-called "527" in support of presidential hopeful John McCain, called "Wankers for the Truth."

"It's all just people like me," explained Don Wanker, a retired toilet cleaner with the US Air Force and chairman of the new group. "You know, we all lived in this great piece of occupied territory that Carter just gave away to these banana benders. And you know that John McCain, our hero, was born here. So that's why."

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Tags: 527, canal, mccain, panama, truth, wankers, zone

Panama Canal Hires Harrison Ford to Fight Northern Passage

By The Boss on Feb 12, 2008 | In Canal | 1 feedback »

The Panama Canal Authority (ACP) has hired award winning actor Harrison Ford to fight the threat of the Northern passage opening up much sooner than expected, Bananama Republic has learned.

The idea reportedly came to Canal administrator Alberto Aleman Zubieta after he had rented "The Mosquito Coast" at his local Blockbuster video outlet....

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Tags: aleman chuleta, arctic, canal, expansion, harrison ford, ice, northern passage, panana, problems

• • Rotten Bananas: Franz Wever the PRD dick

    It's not just these glorious Noriega thugs from the past that make the PRD stand out as the sleaziest political group of Panama. New talent is being raised as we speak, and one example is the racist, corrupt and dumbshit douchebag legislator Franz Wever.

  • PRD Prepares Weird Retro Balbina Campaign Spot

    And of course we have the rough cut of that spot. Weird's the word. Further comment unnecessary.

  • Endaras Turn Clintons - Bye Bye, Vanguardia

    We told you so. Loose cannon Ana Mae decides Vanguardia Moral is not going to support Bernal after all for mayor and instead go with Jose Teran of the Pizzafista Party. Teran then loses the primaries of the Pizzafista Party to a perfume salesman who also campaigned for Bernal. Meanwhile, Bernal acquires the support of the Liberal Party

  • The Panama Muppet

    Panama has a boxing show that starts with 15 minutes of political punditry by chief muppet Juan Carlos Tapia.

  • COPA Air, Leaders in High Prices and Shake-Downs

    COPA Air. Hopelessly overpriced. They sell you tickets you don't need. They never respond to complaints. Lousy service. Best avoided.

  • Ana Mae Beats Husband - Again

    Avid readers of our site will know that we don't hold Panamanian politicians in very high esteem, but we have to make an exception for Ana Mae Diaz de Endara, the wife of former president Guillermo Endara. She is not just an unguided missile, she is the mother of all unguided missiles, and as such provides endless amounts of fun. She's now at it again, causing uproar and turmoil in Vanguardia Moral (VM), the political party that was formed after her interventions had caused the Endaras to leave Union Patriotica.

  • Koster Strikes Back at Salterio of HSBC Panama

    Anyone who has read John leCarre's "The Tailor of Panama" will remember the banking trouble of Harry Pendel, who gets embezzled by one of Panama's fine bankers. That, we heard, is based on a true story that author Richard Koster told John le Carre when the latter was in Panama doing research, and the banker in question was one Joe Salterio of HSBC.

  • Job Openings

    Who said this government isn't doing anything against unemployment? General Daniel Delgado Diamante, in charge of helicopter crashes and other attack forces, is looking for sapos! Yes, the glorious days of Noriega are back as he and his gringo friends get the new and improved G2 together.

  • Martinelli, Mas Alla Que el Tylenol!

    We first saw this picture on a billboard in Obarrio and wondered what on earth presidential candidate Ricardo Martinelli was doing here. Turns out that his campaign is so poor that they have to build a campaign headquarters from mud!

  • Balbina's Resignation as Minister Leaves Fire Department Without Work

    If it weren't for the occasional antique helicopter crashing on poor neighborhoods, Panama City's Fire Department would have very little to do now that Balbina has resigned as Minister of Housing to dedicate herself to her presidential campaign.

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