We said it here before, Panama is at war. But we're not alone any more. Eisenmann says the same in Friday's la Prensa. After years of praise for the new democratic and civil values of the PRD, he is now slowly discovering that a gorilla stays a gorilla even if you dress him in suit and tie.

How did the war start? Easy. Anyone can do it. You go in a canoe to the Dariën, fire some shots, and the whole country will go berserk, or at least the gorillas. They send more gorillas to the border. They start buying more guns and bullets. And of course the gringos can't wait to send more war toys and experts. Eisenmann fears they want to create a new dictatorship. We think the US has its own plans for a new Gran Colombia.

John Keller

You'd think that an editor in chief of Military & Aerospace Electronics magazine would have his facts straight. Not so. Today John Keller apologizes for writing on his blog that China operates the Canal, after he was corrected on that weird statement by Teresa Arosemena of the ACP. But some people never learn, and Keller has now downgraded his statement to:

I retain my concern, however, that a Chinese company effectively controls the entrances and exits of the Panama Canal at a time when U.S. and Chinese national interests could come into conflict just a couple of hundred miles away.

He's talking about the container terminals of course. Hutchison Whampoa. Strange that the editor of a military magazine doesn't explain how a container terminal could close the Canal even if they wanted to . Black helicopters, we suppose, dumping containers in the lane. Doesn't he know that we all wear tinfoil hats here in Panama to protect ourselves against secret Chinese radiation programs from outer space?

Everybody please go out and buy canned food and milk powder for at least two weeks. War is imminent, actually, it has already begun. No, we didn't know that either but luckily Daniel Delgado Diamante informs us today in La Prensa. Where would we be without him. At least SOMEBODY picks up the phone at Las Garzas at 3 AM.

How do we win this war? Simple. We merge the police and the PTJ. Then we merge the air force and the border force. Then we merge those with the police. And before you know it, we have an army again! That is modern strategic thinking, explains Delgado Diamante. A true visionary. What can we do with this army? All sorts of fun things, but preferably go to war with criminals. Use the tactics of warfare against drug trafficking. Last time he was involved in such an effort it was a big success, everybody got rich and the army heroically defended the country against foreign invaders. Let's do it again!

INSTANT UPDATE: Our fearless terrorist Assembly president is duly doing his part in the war effort and has ordered guns, bullet proof vests, boots and pepper spray to protect the country's biggest tax-free car dealership against, errr, terrorists?