We have done what we could here at Bananama Republic, but our efforts to improve the "Weekly News with Sandra Snyder" radio broad- and podcast through constructive criticism have been in vain. Let's just admit it: We tried but failed miserably. So, today there's no other way left open to us than to declare full all-out war of Xenu proportions against this evil. Nothing but an unconditional surrender will do.

Why, you ask? Let us explain you why:

First of all, because she looks like a China-made pirated copy of Maggie Thatcher. Just look at the picture; that weaselly smile, these liver spotted arms, that superior conservative expression on her otherwise clean-shaven face. Her handbag can't have been far away when this pic was taken. The only difference is the voice; Thatcher had this deep roaring sound that scared away any opposition she'd encounter while Sandra Snyder - let's just say that if you could turn crackled paint into audio the result would be what Snyder reads on the air every Sunday night.

Then, she's nuts. Why is she nuts? Because she is bonkers, crazy, insane, disconnected from reality, that's why. This woman will tell you dead serious that she drove to the interior and saw EVERYWHERE how urban wealth was trickling down to the poor in the form of new construction and freshly painted houses. Just days later, we read an alarming story in La Prensa about how Panama City's urban mismanagement is indeed trickling down to the interior, with lack of garbage collection, sewage treatment and a number of other issues. So Snyder is lying or delusional. In her case, it could very well be both.

Third, this news show is so BAD. Last Sunday, they read one story that said: "Mr. such and so delivered an interesting speech at last week's ExpoComer". That was it. Why was the speech interesting? What new views were presented in it? Or even: What was the speech about? We'll never know. Why is this news? Because Sandra Snyder is the editor of the show, that's why. She also managed to read a long story about Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador and Panama and the OAS without mentioning even ONCE that this was actually about Colombia bombing some camp inside Ecuador. Why? Because she is a total nitwit and a conservative gringo propagandist (qualities that often go hand in hand), that's why.

Remember that she is the idiot who wrote in a book that Panama's Tipico music star Sandra Sandoval is a Salsa singer.

But here's what really does it. Where are we? Yes, Fourth: This woman is a former McCain lobbyist whore prominent member of Republicans Abroad. These Republicans are the ones with the loudest voices in the US about how immigrants have to learn English. Well, okay, it's an opinion. You must learn the language of the country where you live. But then WHY THE FUCK is that American moldy turd in Panama unable to pronounce ONE SINGLE NAME OR WORD IN SPANISH RIGHT?

It is T O R R I J O S ! Repeat it! Again! And not Torjillos or Tornillos (which means "screws", for the other Republicans reading this).

B O C A S ! Not: "Bohhcahhs". And so on. Try listening to Panamanians or even other Spanish speaking people, also to put the emphasis on the right syllable. And if you got off your lazy Zonian lobbyist whore ass an hour earlier and rehearsed the drivel you edited, maybe it wouldn't sound like you're reading the label of the Clorox container while desperately trying to retrieve your dental prosthesis from a toilet bowl.

So. That's better.