Benjamin Colamarco, the current Minister of Public Works, is a man of tradition. Once a goon, always a goon. The spiritual and organizational father of Noriega's Dignity Battalions is still, in his heart, a batallonero; a street thug with a desire to move up in the world. And so, the Friday before the PRD congress, he wanted to do the rounds to get the votes for the vice-presidency of the Pineapple Party. But, as a Minister, one is of course supposed to go to work. Colamarco then used the old trick of faking a Royoian throat ailment: He was unable to speak, it was really very serious, and he could not possibly be expected to show up at work.

Then he went to a breakfast meeting with the terrorist leader of the National Assembly and the delegates of the PRD from the Dariën in hotel - where else - Plaza Paitilla Inn. But there was also a photographer from La Prensa, Ana Teresa Rentería. and, knowing that the fearless Comandante Colamarco was supposed to be very, very, ill and in bed, she took pictures of him being miraculously cured and enjoying his meeting.

Soon, the goons showed up. Men in suits with bulbs under their arms. They demanded the pictures. The photographer refused. Arguing back and forth. Eventually La Prensa caved in and ordered the digital images erased. But that wasn't enough to release Mrs. Rentería, who was a sort of kept hostage for hours at the Paitilla Inn. The story can be read in today's La Prensa, but what did La Prensa DO about it? Sued the government for millions of dollars? Filed a complaint for illegal acts by Comandante Colamarco and his goons? Well, dear reader, La Prensa did absolutely nothing at all. It's a PRD paper, remember? They haven't cared about press freedom since the 2004 campaign.

Meanwhile, Comandante Colamarco is said to become the Piñadista candidate for mayor of Panama City. Voting for him sends a clear message. The message is that you're crazy and you want some dictatorship nutcase to rule the city.

Trouble in the ranks of the Piñadistas which has its national congress this weekend:

- Some delegates want to call for a vote on a resolution that supports Chavez, Correa and Ortega in their rejection of Colombian killers on the loose, but the organizers won't have it;

- An advertisement by Bala-bina yesterday in La Prensa turns out to be in violation of election laws and regulations and now there will probably be a complaint filed with the Tribunal Electoral;

- General nervousness and bets being placed on Bala-bina's claim in January that she would get 95% of the votes (forget it);

- Indigenous delegates traveled to the city and got into trouble immediately. No money (they only brought their votes), problems in hotels, nobody of the party is answering his cell phone;

And they haven't even started yet!

Panama has its own Hillary. Popular in the polls, but loathed in her own party. The talented sure-shot Balbina Herrera will try to take the presidency of the PRD at the congress March 9th. And then try to become the presidential nominee. But the perredistas know that she carries too much baggage - dignity battalions, scandals, the uncontrolled real estate swindles in this country...

So while campaigning in Chiriqui at the mini congresses the PRD is having, she declared that "all PRD delegates will go united to the PRD congress March 9, because it is part of the path towards the 2009 elections and we need a strong and winning party". Ah, yes. That's why she was yelling and screaming at El Toro the other day. United we stand.

Totally unexpected news from within the PRD that has caught us by surprise and off guard. They're having internal elections. A bit like what's going on in the US, but here they keep everything under the hood. Why? Well, because nobody needs to stick his nose into how these things are done in the Democratic Revolutionary Party.

Or, in other words, allegations of vote buying are flying back and forth. Balabina may rank high in national polls, but she hasn't won any of the mini-congresses the PRD is organizing all over the country. A candidate who came to Chiriqui with a 30 vote advance left having lost by 27 votes.

And now the vice-president of this political pawn shop, Luis Navas, is making public statements about it! How totally un-PRDish! Must be Chavez paying him. There's also talk about a government police patrol boat flying a PRD flag in Kuna Yala. Chavez again.

In a poll by KW Continente for the presidency of the PRD, "Lady B", also known as "La Chola", beat El Toro 74 to 72.

Not that that means anything.

The duo was also spotted yesterday in a good old fashioned screaming match. Yes, fighting. Giving each other the finger.

It's not clear if she took off her clothes as she used to do after leaving a discotheque, screaming as well.

The mini-caucuses of the PRD, meanwhile, are a spectacle not to be missed. Each candidate has one minute to present him/herself. Result: Attempts to buy minutes. Only in Panama.

Isn't it something. Have the government pay for employees at your political headquarters. Illegal? So what? There are also those who officially work for the government and ALSO collect money from the PRD. Elections next year. We need all the help we can get. It's called the "botella"....