Monday morning: Time for the News with Sandra Snyder. But we discovered something strange this time. She recounts how she drove all the way to Chiriqui and saw only healthy cows and prosperous low income housing freshly painted. Didn't she notice how in Santiago they're building the equivalent of Punta Paitilla? And how David is BOOMING? And how Versace opened a shop in Veraguas? No, she didn't see any of that because, as she explains, she had something trickling down from her interior. And while we don't normally encourage playing with tropical hardwood toys while driving, it makes for some rather interesting radio. Listen for yourself! Oh, and Sandra: Next time, leave the car at home. The new trend is walking barefeet. You get to enjoy much more trickling and it makes it soooo much more romantic....

Panama's health authorities are investigating yet another attempt to poison innocent Panamanians. This time it's not cough syrup but pancakes that would carry enough bacteriological weapons to kill us all.

Luckily, our rulers got wind of the devilish conspiracy and are now raiding supermarkets to get the Aunt Jemima weapons of mass destruction off the shelves. Who's behind it? We can only guess, but our bets are on McCain who sees no other way to get rid of his Panamanian lobbyist whoring past.

US tank invades laundromat

Enough is enough. The Noriegista wing of the PRD has already a terrorist as president of the Assembly, all the corruption they can handle, they're amply represented in the government and they are NOT going to have a national holiday to remember Noriega's fall from power. The prez vetoed a law that would establish such a day on December 20st. He said that the law would probably violate the constitution, but that is of course just a pretext: Nobody in this government cares about the constitution. This is the Noriegistas against the yuppies, the clash of the titans. Nasty voices claim our highest ranking citizen worldwide, McCain, has something to do with it too. This ain't over.